May 31, 2006

New to Purple Women

Wanted to share this from a first time visitor to our site. It's always rewarding to hear from a reader of our blog and I will be sharing these comments from time to time. This particular visitor has her own blog. She recently posted about being single and childfree. A good read.

We've had some nice comments from outside the blogosphere and so far, no hate mail. I've published some of the best on the official Purple WomenTM website on the page called the Buzz.

Thanks for stoppin' by!

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Medium Contact Info

NikkiJ is right. Our words published here are only shared within our safe circle of contributors and readers, plus the occasional random blurker (one who reads and never posts a comment). Our words would have greater impact if we united in voice and took them to the people responsible for the show. Thought before action, in that order...

Some excellent points were made in the guest article and the ensuing comments about how the fictitious childfree TV couple was portrayed in the last episode of Medium, a popular show about a medium played by Patricia Arquette. The show is obviously highly rated as it will be returning for another season.

The NBC website lists an email for the show:

If you wish to stand up for Purple WomenTM and men it's as easy as sending an email. Let your voice be heard. Lights, camera, action!

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May 29, 2006

Medium Channels Childfree Bias

by Guest Contributor
Toronto, Canada

Last Monday was the season finale of Medium, a show about Alison, a woman with psychic ability working for the district attorney in Phoenix. One of the things I enjoy about the show it is a realistic portrayal of her family: the kids are normal looking, not perfect little pixies, and they don’t have quirky comeback lines, the parents are shown to be mostly caring but stressed at times. Sometimes they get along and sometimes they argue. A nice, normal family.

I’m sad that I show I enjoy takes such a cliché view of the childfree, that we are insensitive jerks interested only in fancy houses and can’t have caring, supportive relationships.
In the season finale, Alison dreams she married her childhood sweetheart and the many differences this has made in her life. She now lives in an expensive house with her husband and is a junior partner in her law firm. She and her husband do not have children, although she wishes for one, and on this point, I became disturbed about the show.

Not so much that she wants children, but how they portray her husband’s responses. As she expresses her desire for children, her husband is shown making comments like “no way” and being relatively a jerk about it. While one could argue the screenwriter was trying to make a point about the state of their marriage and this particular guy being a jerk, I think it betrays an underlying bias against the childfree.

Alison is then shown bumping into her “real” husband who is unmarried because as he says “all the cool girls are taken”. She feels drawn to him and away from her jerky husband, until she awakens from the dream to her daughters coming into the room. She throws her arms open and cries out “My babies!” Instead of an emphasis on choosing a life partner that you love and cherish, the show dismisses her relationship with her husband as just a backdrop for the kids, while the childfree husband is shown as being an insensitive clod.

Why couldn’t the dream husband be a clod in general while she’s drawn to her “real” husband because he’s a great guy? A strong theme of love between these two characters becomes diluted by the whole “must have kids” layer. The focus on a committed adult relationship as the “real” husband is relegated to the background to emphasize Alison as mother, with a back-handed slap to the childfree for good measure.

I’m sad that I show I enjoy takes such a cliché view of the childfree, that we are insensitive jerks interested only in fancy houses and can’t have caring, supportive relationships. What a shame that a show that typically relishes exploring and exploding assumptions (both the viewers’ and the characters’) has fallen victim to such a shallow and narrow view of what it is to be childfree.

Purple WomenTM will feature guest contributors from time to time. Please help us thank them for sharing their thoughts with us here with a comment or two! Our next guest contributor will be writing on the topic of childfree dating online.

May 25, 2006

Being Christian and Childfree

The decision not to have children brings even more animosity when it is a Christian couple who makes this choice. Though infertility brings about sympathy and understanding, if the decision is deliberate, then the couple is viewed strangely. Some even go so far as to consider the choice sinful. After all, did not God command us to be fruitful in the book of Genesis?

The scripture - "Be fruitful and multiply" is used to support the argument that married Christians are to have children if they are able. Yet this Scripture, in the original language, is actually a blessing, not a command. Here's an article about Genesis 1:28 - Be fruitful and multiply. Children are a blessing. And many couples grieve the lack of this blessing in their lives. Perhaps this is why many find it hard to believe that couples would voluntarily choose not to have any children.

This can be a volatile topic and quite controversial, especially among Christians. There are those in Christian circles who believe that a married couple who chooses not to have children are sinning against God. Here's an article from that standpoint Deliberate Childlessness: Moral Rebellion. Obviously I don't agree with that viewpoint. Here's an article from Christianity Today with a different perspective Is It All Right for a Married Couple to Choose to Remain Childless?

What are your thoughts on these articles?

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Good on Us

Actually what the woman said was, "Good on you!" She repeated it a couple of times in our conversation. This from a woman I met at a networking event last night. It was nice to hear.

Her response was in reaction to my introduction of Purple WomenTM, the blog to book project by, for, and about childfree women. I joined this women's networking group a year ago, paid the initial fee and now I am evaluating my association in light of the continuing the monthly dues. My involvement has thus far turned up unexpected results, if not "big payola," and it's been an interesting testing ground for talking about being childfree in a controlled, yet public setting.

The most unsettling reaction I’ve had at one of these events so far was from a woman who said, "Well, I guess I'm a Purple Woman but not by choice." I knew I was in trouble when she proceeded to tell me that she had ovarian cancer that precluded her from having her own children. Then she shared with me that she met and married a man who already had children that needed a mother. You see, she still felt childless because she did not physically birth her own child. I decided it was more important to listen to her story than to debate the fine points of being purple. Also, she seemed a little hostile.

The woman I met yesterday, a mother herself, was definitely an advocate for reproductive choice. I was flattered when she approached me and inquired further about the project. She wanted to know if I had read the book "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and I admitted I had not yet, but was delighted to tell her one of our blog contributors had reviewed it. I told her that one surprise I've had is that the more I read, the more I find that we, Purple WomenTM, are at the center of controversy, politically and morally, yet we are not united in voice or action. This seemed to surprise her so I attempted to enlighten her further.

As we have been reading here, thanks to our duo-citizen contributor (NikkiJ) who keeps up with news across the channel, childless women are becoming quite the concern to establishments in Europe. For example, the tax base is threatened if we are not producing little tax payers. Out of all developed nations, only the U.S. continues to exceed the population replacement rate.

To this my new friend exclaimed, "Oh, like there aren't enough people on the planet already? What are we, baby-making machines?"

I relished this comment and replied, "Yeah, why aren't we the heroes?" We had ourselves a chuckle.

If only it were that simple. Sure, we should be heroines. If it were simply a matter of resources wouldn't it follow that if there are less people, there will be more to go around? Not when it comes to institutions and their investment in the status quo. Can governments/ schools/ churches successfully downsize? Even the corporate world has trouble with that one. So, yes, I agree it’s a bit of a crisis. What to do?

Accolades are not usually what we get back when we talk about our childfree status in public. Some of us are more insulated by our conscious or unconscious choice in our circle of friends and the associations we make along the way. The conversation I had yesterday was validating, and made my attendance worthwhile, though it's hard to put a value to it. I gave her a Purple Woman! button and she promised to pass it on to a childfree friend.

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May 24, 2006

Instant Baby

I found this little tyke at the Outer Limits store on, you guessed it, my favorite shopping street in Toronto: Queen Street West! It's a life-sized pop-up two dimensional infant complete with easel stand. Product packaging claims:

  • All the fun, practically none of the poop (not sure exactly what they mean by this...)
  • Virtually unlimited attention span
  • Cute as a frigging button
  • Matches most decors
Finally, a product to help Purple WomenTM fit in with everyone else, without the hassle! You too can have your very own Instant Infant, according to this website which offers him for sale, this product was featured on the hit TV series Sex in the City. Personally, I've never seen this episode, but careful who you give it to. It could be taken as a cruel gift or a funny one, depending on the recipient.

Hey, maybe he could be used as a prop at an un-baby shower (tee, hee)? My cats are going to freak out if if I set this little baby up.

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May 23, 2006

Babies I Don't Mind

Ma would always say that babies were no trouble. "All you have to do is feed them and keep them clean," she'd say. It was a very simplistic view on her part because it doesn't take into account the money spent on diapers and car seats, and the loss of time and sleep the parents experience.

I don't dislike babies at all. I find most of them very cute. The supervisor of the fieldhouse where I box at asked me to sing the National Anthem before a gym showcase highlighting the kids' sports programs last week, so I did. While I was standing off to the side near the audience waiting to go on, a baby in a carriage kept looking in my direction. His dad, a dreadlocked African-American joked, "He's fascinated with you for some reason." I approached the carriage to find a robust, light mocha complexioned, sandy brown haired baby. It was surprising to find out that the boy was three months old. "This is a healthy baby," I laughed. I offered the baby my finger, which he held on to with a strong grip. When my named was called to sing, I told the baby's father that I would be right back.

When I came back, I continued to play with the baby, who for some reason, took an instant liking to me. People are always telling me I'm good with kids, and I'm still trying to figure out where they get that from. However, babies, I don't mind much because they are small, and like Ma used to say, "They aren't trouble because they don't know how to walk or talk yet." The first performance of the evening featured kids in a gymnastics program. The baby's five year old brother, another cute kid, was part of that. Afterwards, big brother showed up with his mom, a pleasant blond, and the kids' dad introduced me to them. "Both of the kids are very cute," I told the mom. The dad admitted that the baby was a handfull because he cried and fussed most of the time. His older brother had been easier to deal with when he was an infant.

I bid goodbye to the family after a little while because I had to get inside the boxing gym. I thought about the pretty baby for awhile after that. Babies can be a lot of fun to hold and play with, but I'm also very happy to give them back to their parents after visiting with them.

May 19, 2006

New Contributor Welcome!

A great big. . .

W E L neon c (wbrc) One Letter / O M E
to bella Isabel who has joined our team blog. I will let her further introduce herself in her upcoming first post on Purple WomenTM . For now, you can always click through on her name under "Contributors" in the sidebar to view her profile.

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Subscribe to Purple Women

Hey all -- Happy Weekend.
It's a long one up here in Canada, as the Canadians (and those living in Canada) take a day off to celebrate the Queen on Monday.

I've added a new feature that allows you to subscribe to Purple WomenTM. Now you can receive notice of new posts by email. Put your email address in the new box found in the sidebar and click the button.

Your email will be known to me, as the administrator of this blog, but no one else. It will not be used for anything else. I am using FeedBlitz for this service and they are not spammers. I have seen their service on several other reputable blogger sites. You can always unsubscribe.

The frequency of posts on Purple WomenTM is almost daily now, and you will receive an email notice of new posts as they occur, once a day. Let me know when and if you think this needs changing.

Three Cheers for Queen Victoria!

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May 18, 2006

A Mother's Woman's Worth

I was thrilled to learn that according to a U.S. study done by compensation analysts, women are worth more now. The new figure was derived by considering the following roles that women play in caring for their families:

  • day care worker
  • chef
  • housekeeper
  • airport shuttle/driver
  • other support staff (use your imagination!)
The list for Purple WomenTM might include personal shopper instead of day care worker, but I think this looks about right, except for the headline. Bottom line: $US134,121. I plan to shoot an email to the editor, so check the next issue. Here's the email if you wish to do the same:

MacLean's May 15, 2006 issue, page 15.

Yahoo News picked up the full Rueter's wire story here: Mother's Worth

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May 17, 2006

Demography is Destiny?

"Faced with the prospect of juggling a career and parenting children, high-skill women are delaying motherhood or skipping it altogether. In fact, among 40-year-old college-educated women, 27 percent have not yet had a child -- and many of them never will."

This from a Harvard Magazine article titled Fertility and Destiny by Erin O'Donnell that examined the implications of educated women delaying or foregoing motherhood, based on research done by Harvard Professor, David Ellwood and others, using data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth.

I am one of those college-educated women, born from 1960-1964, who will never have children. Not because I delayed, but because I skipped it altogether.

Why? Because I valued freedom and independence more than I valued the experience of Motherhood. I also recognized that if I did have kids the bulk of the burden of raising children would fall squarely on my shoulders. I would have to abandon my career and be financially dependent on a man, or I would have to leave my children in some other person's care and hope the market would pay enough for my skills to cover child-care and other expenses.

In the climate of high divorce rates and rising child-care costs, neither of these options seemed appealling or even smart. My college-honed critical thinking skills, Economics 101, and my own desire to chart an alternative course made the decision to remain childfree a no-brainer.

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Tolerance To An Extent

Boss and I had our second meeting about my performance review. I brought up what he questioned the last time about me not being a kid person. He did bring up good points about having empathy for the emotionally/mentally abused children who live on the premises. I had been emotionally and verbally abused by both parents, so I could relate on that level. However, when he brought up about the kids being insensitive at times, I told him, "Kids in general can be that way. They also can be cruel."

There are a couple of girls here who always make a point of talking to me when they see me in the hall. I have had some pleasant conversations with them. Unfortunately, there is one girl in particular who has a major attitude adjustment to make. I told Boss, "I can't relate to her at all. She needs to listen to what is being told her--by people who care--before she is let loose on the streets. Out in the world, no one's going to care about her problems and issues. They will hurt her." This is the same kid who always looks at me like she'd like nothing better than to knock me senseless. "You can't take what these kids do personally. You have to tolerate it," the boss told me.

I don't have much tolerance for a lot of things these days. Age has a lot to do with that. I particularly have no interest in being a punching bag, crash test dummy, scratching post, etc. for the kids at my job. I can be cordial as I have been most of the time with the kids. All I'm asking for is a modicum of respect, which unfortunately, is not being taught much these days to any kids, anywhere.

Forever Pre-Pregnant

According an article by January W. Payne in the Washington Post yesterday,

"New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control... Women should also make sure all vaccinations are up-to-date and avoid contact with lead-based paints and cat feces..."

Thanks for the tips!

Say, here's an idea: why don't you recommend all of these obviously health-promoting guidelines to women without attaching the guilt/fear factor of infant mortality? Maybe I'm just one of these women...

"Experts acknowledge that women with no plans to get pregnant in the near future may resist preconception care.

'We know that women -- unless you're actively planning [a pregnancy], . . . she doesn't want to talk about it," Biermann said. So clinicians must find a "way to do this and not scare women," by promoting preconception care as part of standard women's health care, she said."

There is something very The Handmaid's Tale about this. Not to mention the near-complete disregard for women who have decided to be childfree.

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May 15, 2006

Project Update: Purple Women Survey & Blog Visitors

Purple WomenTM is taking off...

I now receive regular reports on our blog visitor statistics. Last week, there were just under 300 unique visitors. If you click on the GeoVisitors link in the sidebar, you can see where visitors are clicking in from.

To date, 160 childfree women have taken the Purple WomenTM Survey. The goal is 200 valid surveys, so please tell friend.

[Cartoon with permission by Doug Savage of Savage Chickens.]
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May 12, 2006

A New Parent Defends the Childfree

In her article Mama Don't Preach: Thoughts on Respecting Parenthood Decisions Salon editor and writer Amy Reiter had this to say:

I'm here as a new parent to stand up for all those nonparents out there -- the ones who haven't yet made up their minds about kids and the ones who definitely have -- and proclaim that there is nothing wrong with not having children. I did it for more than three decades and led what I'd consider a pretty rich life, filled with learning, love, travel, adventure, laughter...and other people's children.

You're not being selfish. Your life won't be empty. And you're certainly not destined for a sad, lonely end. People can find meaning in their lives in ways that don't include progeny.
This article was her response to conversation she had with another new Mom who gushed, "I don't understand how anyone can not have children. They're missing out on the best thing in life." We've all heard a version of those sentiments. Reiter makes the point that it serves neither parents or nonparents to endorse "parenthood as panacea." Reiter "isn't buying it"--even though she clearly has no regrets about her decision to parent-- because this type of rhetoric fails to communicate how difficult parenthood can be.

From my childfree perspective, this kind of talk also implies that the childfree are freaks for not wanting to parent and sets parents up for, what will likely be, some very unrealistic expectations around the Joys of Parenthood. People who have their first kid believing that all the trials of parenthood will be offset by an unlimited source of joy sometimes feel like they've been duped by a bait and switch scam. On occasion the resulting anger is misdirected to the kids, who didn't sign up for that shifty deal either, or the childfree friends who appear to gloat as they describe a recent trekking trip in Nepal.

Thanks to Amy Reiter for her brave honesty and support.

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Blog Comments

I have turned the anonymous comment feature back on for this blog due to some recent feedback (quite a gift really that someone takes the time to send an email).

This means that you do not have to be a registered Blogger with to publish a comment on an original post here. Please do at least use a pseudonym (make it fun like: CrazyMom, or Non-Mom) or your initials so we can follow the conversation. (If everyone left a comment signed "anonymous" we wouldn't know if it was one person or multiple persons posting!)

Blogs at their best are conversations, even online communities. We are nothing without our readers. Regular readers become part of our online community. It doesn't mean we have to agree, but it probably means we do have something in common. Here at the
Purple WomenTM team blog, it means we are women and we're childfree -- for what ever reason, and those reasons do vary.

Anyone, female or male, parent or not, is welcome to comment, anonymously or not, from anywhere at any time.

[PHOTO: The Blurker by Teri]

[Blurker: one who visits a blog but never leaves a comment!]

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Mother's Day from a Childfree Perspective

Mother's Day is a great holiday and one in which we can honor our mothers and the impact they have had on our lives. However, for many people, this is a painful holiday. Perhaps because they long to be mothers themselves. For others, their own mother has passed away or they don't have a good relationship. Perhaps they live far away from family.

For the childfree, Mother's Day can be a good opportunity to spend time with our own mothers, thanking them for all they've done for us. But Mother's Day can seem artificial and superfluous since we are not mothers ourselves.

In Christian circles, most churches seem to emphasize mothers on this particular day, making it difficult for the childfree to feel comfortable going to church on this holiday.
Even if not being mothers is a choice that we have made, the over-emphasis on this particular holiday can be difficult to endure.

While honoring our mothers is important, it is also important to remember that not being a mother is fine too. In many ways, we can offer our contributions of being women to society without the motherhood aspect. We all have unique abilities and gifts which we can offer to others. Often our time and money is freed to contribute to important and worthwhile endeavors. For the childfree that like children, being a part of children's lives while not being the parent can be very rewarding. Perhaps we can make a difference in a child's life.

Let's honor our own mothers, but also honor women in general for the many contributions that women bring to society. And remember to use your unique gifts to better the world and community in which you are a part.

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May 11, 2006

Wikipedia: Childfree

Re-published Wikipedia Discussion on the subject of "childfree":

"I added a link to Purple WomenTM, a project for, by and about childfree women of my conception -- before I read this discussion. The team blog associated with the project has multiple contributors from various nationalities and parts of North America. It is more like an online magazine than a personal journal. It is topical and timely. We have reviewed several books on the subject of childfree and are keeping tabs of related issues from media portrayals to workplace conflicts.

I can understand not wanting to include personal blogs, but blogs are not all alike. If it is not possible to discriminate personal blogs from content-focused blogs, would you instead consider a link to the This is the official website which introduces the book that will be based on the online survey currently underway.

I also added to the Books section an excellent scholarly book by Mardy S. Ireland PhD, a clinical psychologist.

It has been noted correctly that we, the childfree, as a group are growing in numbers, yet we are not politically organized nor united as a group. Motivations and situations can really vary as do religious and political outlook, yet we are at the center of economic if not moral controversy. Purple WomenTM is more than a blog and more than a book in the making, it is a new way of connecting and forming community via the internet. For this reason, I hope you will allow a link to us.

Many thanks for creating this page on Wikipedia."


Blushing Bride at 62

A Purple Woman shares her story.

Who knows what we'll do when we're that age!

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May 10, 2006

On a positive note...

Lately I've been appreciating some businesses in my life that make my childfree choice even more enjoyable. I'm talking about places that set aside space or hours for adults-only activities. I don't think they're necessarily sponsoring childfree lifestyles, but I appreciate their policies nonetheless!

For instance, I go the YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association - promotes Christian values within a fitness/wellness context) six days a week. My YMCA branch doesn't have many children about to begin with, mostly in swim lessons. But they actively keep children to a specific area of the locker room, and mothers are only allowed to bring their kids into the shower area closest to that end of the locker room (there's another shower area that is a childfree zone). And the locker room attendant is all over it! Whenever a mom stumbles unknowlingly in the wrong door from the pool, the attendant is right there, making her take her child(ren) out the door, through the pool, and over to the "kids shower" door. Love it when policies are actually enforced!

The other example I come across is our local art house movie theatre. When they opened, you had to be 18 to attend, period. I think they've relented a bit to allow 16-yr-olds with a parent. But bravo! San Antonio is a city where you regularly see infants and toddlers in R-rated movies. The Bijou's policy eliminates that, and keeps the roving gangs of teens and preteens at bay.

Which businesses in your area have policies that benefit your choice to be childfree?

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May 09, 2006

Bored and Dejected? Have A Kid!

It seems that some women run out of things to keep them occupied, and decide a child will be the antedote. It seems to be especially true of women who appear to have limited life choices and/or are in bad circumstances. They may not have a good job, a decent education, a good man, etc., but doggone, they have kids, so their lives must matter! It's a sad way to think.

May 06, 2006

The Buzz...

...about Purple WomenTM is a new page on the official Purple WomenTM website. It contains some of the feedback we've been getting in the last couple of months since the survey was launched.

Thus far, 149 surveys have been completed and the target goal of 200 is not far off. I expect that we'll reach it by end of July, since I will be promoting it at the 5th Annual Childfree Festival taking place in Toronto, Canada June 15-18 (it's not too late to register and we'd love to meet you in person!)

Most of the comments came in emails from persons in North America (outside the blogosphere). I thank everyone for their permission to publish their comments.

I'd be curious to hear from women or men in other parts of the world who are reading us.

The Buzz

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May 05, 2006

Advantages to Being Childfree

I've been home sick for the last couple of days and as I lay around sleeping and trying to get better, it occurred to me that it is a blessing that I don't have children. Children would be clamoring for my attention, even if I'm in bed sick. It would be much harder for me to get well while trying to take care of the needs of others. My husband and cats can pretty much take care of themselves. What type of advantages do you find a blessing?

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May 04, 2006

Is It A Job Requirement?

Boss and I had our first meeting regarding my performance appraisal and my raise (a second one is planned for later this month) yesterday afternoon. He told me that it felt it was a "problem" that I didn't want to be in close proximity to the kids here. Boss has known that I'm childfree for the past three years. I told him during our meeting that I wasn't hired to be friends with the kids. I was hired to keep the head office running smoothly.

It's sort of baffling to me that suddenly, this is an issue with him. I'm most certainly not the only one in the whole agency that does not have children. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does not seek children out to hang around in their personal life, either. So what gives? Boss went on to discuss other aspects of my job, but told me that he wanted to discuss my "problem" with kids further in the next meeting. No where in my job description does it say I have to love children. I am not a social worker nor do I give direct service to children, so what do my personal feelings have to do with my job performance?

I see that Boss has to be educated further about what childfree is and is not, so I'm planning to prepare some information for him to hand out at our next meeting.

Purple Women = Cool

Yep, it's true. Our new blog team contributor said so on her blog. Any time we get links from other sites it raises our efforts in the eyes of the free search engines and more women will discover us!

If you want to see who is currently linking to us, just click on the Technorati logo in the sidebar.

NomadShan's post is here: Cool.

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May 02, 2006

That Look

An ex-boyfriend of mine told me while we were dating that he noticed that women got a certain look on their faces whenever they saw a baby. "I've seen that look on your face, too. You want one," he said. "In what fantasy world are you living in?" I asked him.

What look? I think that is indicative of a lot of people. As soon as see a woman who has no children showing any kind of interest in a kid, the assumption is that she wants to be a mother. I have played with babies of friends, gave money to kids who didn't have enough to get what they wanted from the ice cream truck, and complimented parents on how well-dressed their kids were. How does any of that translate to having "baby ravies"? Can't a woman just enjoy the presence of being around some kids?

May 01, 2006

Childfree = Me

To me, "childfree" denotes a choice made. I made this choice several years ago with my husband, and we have absolutely no regrets.

How other people label our family choice instantly clues how they feel about it:

  • Childfree: we are unencumbered, and have the right to make that decision for ourselves. Very few people have used this term to describe us. Usually it's...
  • Childless, as in something is missing.

A lot of folks seem to think we're going to wander aimlessly without children to raise. They're right about the roaming - we're avid long-term travelers. But two motivated, goal-oriented people could hardly be considered aimless.

Many women consider me selfish: you owe it to society (what?), you owe it to your parents (wait - huh?), God gave you a uterus to have babies, how dare you not use it (so many assumptions there, I don't know where to begin!). Some just don't consider me a complete woman.

Reactions abroad have been great. A German friend, upon hearing Dave say we weren't having kids, looked at me and said, "But you want them, right?" A British woman thought that children were the only logical step beyond marriage - why would I want to spend all my time with my husband? Best of all, a Thai taxi driver asked, "Who will cry for you when you die?"

The fact is, I simply don't have the desire to be a mother. I don't need to leave a genetic trace. I don't need to create another human being to feel accomplished. I don't need a mini-me.

I enjoy going to bed when I get tired and waking up when I'm rested. I have the time to delve into my interests and the energy to pursue them to exhaustion, if I want. I have the resources to travel, eat and drink well, renovate my house, meet my bills, and save for the future. My husband is my best friend, and we can give each other undivided attention.

Selfish? You bet.

Preaching to the choir? Mmm-hmm.

Missing something? Not this gal.

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World Childfree Day

First Sunday in June is World Childfree Day. Yes! Who knew? This year the date honouring Purple WomenTM and Men everywhere is June 4, 2006.

Could I suggest we all write a haiku and post it? Or, tell us what you did to celebrate being childfree on June 4.

Guest contributors are welcome to send their entry to me by email me directly (in the sidebar) so I can post it for you. Just let me know how you want it attributed.

Let's get bloggy with it!