tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post115022022398900404..comments2023-10-31T05:09:35.339-04:00Comments on Purple Women & Friends: The RubLaura S. Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11503359529542988850noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-1150367189610299442006-06-15T06:26:00.000-04:002006-06-15T06:26:00.000-04:00I feel so sad, to think that there are probably ma...I feel so sad, to think that there are probably many, MANY mentally disabled children living with parents who don't care enough about them. <BR/><BR/>I wonder if it's common for people with disabled siblings (my sister is autistic as well as having learning difficulties) to be more inclined NOT to have children. I've never wanted children of my own, since I was very young. I wonder if interacting with my sister has contributed to my reasons for not wanting kids of my own?<BR/><BR/>I love my sister, and my family love my sister, we love looking after her and helping her, and I actually think my sister has enriched our lives by making us appreciate life more. But maybe looking after her has put something into my brain that says "i've been babysitting all my life (and I won't stop either), I don't want kids so I can have some ME time" :) Sorry for the ramble, this post just sparked the idea off in my head, I hadn't thought about it before.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-1150342206333987372006-06-14T23:30:00.000-04:002006-06-14T23:30:00.000-04:00S, thanks for sharing this.When I hear of people i...S, thanks for sharing this.<BR/><BR/>When I hear of people in their 30's and 40's being encouraged to have children I wonder if they ever consider the high chances of having a child with Down's Syndrome. I had a colleague who had her first baby when she was 34, which, as you say doesn't seem that old. She also refused to have the test for Downs, thinking that it wasn't likely to happen as she was "only" 34. Her baby was born with Downs Syndrome. They love their daughter but they struggle in bringing her up. The chance that I might have had a child with DS was one of my primary consideration when we were talking the childfree issue through.Once I was in my thirties I was certain I did not want to take the risk.Britgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00222360536083884470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-1150313712812664332006-06-14T15:35:00.000-04:002006-06-14T15:35:00.000-04:00One of the slices in my Pie Chart of Reasons Why I...One of the slices in my Pie Chart of Reasons Why I Am Childfree is my sister. She has Down syndrome. She was born when my mom was 35 and had two other kids already (myself and my brother). My sister is 25 now and my parents are both 61 and she still lives with them. This is not an optimal situation for anyone. My parents are in near-constant battle with her and they are very close to the ends of their ropes in terms of their patience and tolerance. My dad would like to retire in the next few years, but they aren't going toenjoy any part of their "golden years" with my sister hanging around. She is extremely difficult to be around. The chances of her getting out of their house and into a subsidized group living facility are next to none. Wathing the slow, unavoidable downhill slide in my family for the last 25 years has been very painful. I am especially sad for my parents. They certainly didn't ask for this, and after this long, I know they don't want it, but they're trapped. I have danced up to but never really had the guts to ask my mom The Question: if she wishes my sister had never been born. Other things she has let slip over the years have led me to believe her answer would probably be "yes."<BR/><BR/>My mom conceived my sister when she was only 34. Some might consider that on the young side for the incidence of Down syndrome. It certainly wasn't something my mom was thinking about at that age. I know Down syndrome doesn't "run in families," and the likelihood of my producing a child with the syndrome would be low (and, let's face it, I'd abort such a fetus anyway, something my mom didn't do because she declined to have an amniocentesis test that would have revealed the Down syndrome), but seeing the damage my sister's existence has done to my family made me vow to avoid EVER taking the chance that the same thing could happen to me. Don't let anyone try and pull the wool over your eyes. Raising a special needs child is a grinding, extremely stressful and often unfulfilling endeavor. It also almost destroyed my parents' marriage. They survived, barely, but plenty of other couples do not. I have taken every step possible to ensure that the same thing will never happen to me.Sun Runnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14971351872301112088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-1150221746562233932006-06-13T14:02:00.000-04:002006-06-13T14:02:00.000-04:00I don't think parents truly realize what they are ...I don't think parents truly realize what they are in store for as a parent. If you are lucky your kids is born mostly problem free but most kids have some kinds of problem. I don't think I could handle it, which is why I don't think I should be a parent.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646695542116530854noreply@blogger.com