tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post7552231079431067199..comments2023-10-31T05:09:35.339-04:00Comments on Purple Women & Friends: When Did You First Have "The Kid Conversation?"Laura S. Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11503359529542988850noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-71605824193910415592007-05-23T10:55:00.000-04:002007-05-23T10:55:00.000-04:00I always bring up the childfree issue immediately....I always bring up the childfree issue immediately. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's. I met my ex-boyfriend through No Kidding so it was a given. In the future, I'll be just as direct. I believe it's an issue of respect and self-knowledge. <BR/><BR/>RMSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-37048988881374101572007-05-23T09:21:00.000-04:002007-05-23T09:21:00.000-04:00My husband and I were dating; I forced the issue ...My husband and I were dating; I forced the issue early on as I felt it important to reveal that I had already had a permanent solution done for health reasons. I was never going going to give any man his namesake.<BR/><BR/>I was terrified, as I feared rejection. I think my future husband was flattered in a way that I felt he was worthy of the conversation. He certainly was. And he was the right man for me. This conversation was the true litmus test. <BR/><BR/>He handled the news with the casualness and grace I know and love him for. He made it no big deal. He said, "If that were really important to me, I would already have a family by now," and sealed it with a kiss. I was 30 he was 38.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-59042888899773945312007-05-18T13:38:00.000-04:002007-05-18T13:38:00.000-04:00Given that I was already very open about not wanti...Given that I was already very open about not wanting children Erik was already very aware when he met me. After going through 3 years of his custody battle I think he realized how much he didn't want another kid as well.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646695542116530854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-45966384203679597912007-05-18T06:36:00.000-04:002007-05-18T06:36:00.000-04:00Jono and I kind of stumbled into the "kid conversa...Jono and I kind of stumbled into the "kid conversation" by going through a book with pre-marital questions meant to bring about discussion. It probably was the "how many kids do you want?" type question and we both realized that neither of us really wanted them. We were engaged at the time, but not married yet. This is such a crucial conversation to have before marriage.twiga92https://www.blogger.com/profile/16751327144782362475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-46270230745396154612007-05-17T11:50:00.000-04:002007-05-17T11:50:00.000-04:00In the few serious relationships I've had post col...In the few serious relationships I've had post college, the issue came up when the other big, serious life topics came up. Since then, it's come up <I>before</I> things got serious. I don't see much of a point in seriously dating a man who really wants to have children in his family, as I don't. It's not fair to either of us to get "serious" if we don't want the same things.Yanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09321410903693533823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-56324732507411837752007-05-17T10:52:00.000-04:002007-05-17T10:52:00.000-04:00I went into marriage assuming we would have kids- ...I went into marriage assuming we would have kids- kind of like how i assumed i would go to college after high school. I think we were married for almost a year when we realized that, with all we wanted to do together, kids would really not fit in anywhere. I'm lucky we both agree, but I can see it being a big problem for a couple that never discussed the possibility of not having children in the first place.Adrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05616053348442226395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16233914.post-30385235214542483172007-05-17T10:24:00.000-04:002007-05-17T10:24:00.000-04:00I agree that this is a very important thing to dis...I agree that this is a very important thing to discuss before marriage. My husband and I started the conversation once our relationship started to get serious, and intensified it after we got engaged (along with discussion of some other topics like money, expectations, etc). We've now been married about 8 months and I can't imagine not having had that conversation until now!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com