June 06, 2010

Purple Again

People used to ask me why "purple" women? It's a long story. Unless you for some unknown reason hate that color, the term when used to modify the word "woman" is relatively neutral, and begs definition. I propose that it was open to definition.

The short answer is "I like to be self-defined, so I created my own label." Too often women without children, either by choice or by accepting their circumstance, struggle with society's labels for them. Childless or childfree, or child-free like smoke-free and ozone-free?

When I began this blog, three years ago, I was living out of the country, connected only by phone and the Internet with loved ones and friends. My husband were uprooted and living in Toronto, Canada for two years while he completed his work assignment abroad. Our relationship was in a little Petrie dish of life. It was interesting to see what would grow, including some wonderful friendships. We, as a couple really had to put some thought and effort into making those connections. I established this blog in the relative comfort of that big, world class city that makes it all too easy to be anonymous.

I have to admit, as we transitioned back home, to a small, suburban town with rural roots in Northern California, I was not too keen on being so out of the closet as a Purple Woman. It was my husband's home town after all, and as small as the one I grew up in. "Better to blend in" was my thinking. In reality, that has never been possible for me, almost everywhere I've been. I have instead embraced "not fitting in" as a personal motto.

I have evolved so much in the last five years. This blog was a big part of that emotional journey. And that's just the middle part of my story. Stay tuned!

5 comments:

長卉長卉 said...

成功的第一要素是珍惜自己 ............................................................

Dilemme said...

It's so interesting to me that you were writing this blog in Toronto, as I started reading it shortly before moving to the same city from suburban Ontario a few years ago... many of my friends are in the having kids phase of life, which my husband and I have eschewed. I often think that this city is the perfect place to be whoever you feel you have to be. I at least have found a few people who understand my point of view here. It's a nice feeling to be free to consider what my role is in the world without feeling so misunderstood all the time. That being said, I have learned not to mention my childfree happiness to certain people nonetheless, even here in the city! My husband, on the other hand, doesn't give a fig whose feathers get ruffled!

Cheers.

孟NathanaelD軒 said...

人不能像動物一樣活著,而應該追求知識和美德..................................................

sdas said...

青春一逝不復返,事業一失難有成。 ..................................................

autisticaplanet said...

I never knew a "purple woman" existed. I learned something new today. I would be interested in knowing how those of us wanting to live in child-free communities could advocate for such places to be created, and done in such a way as to promote life choice, not exclude others. If the economy turns around, it would be great to have the groundwork laid. I am on the autism spectrum and must live in a low-activity area. For me, it's not even a choice, but a medical necessity.