February 09, 2006

Purple Woman: Further Defined

Treacherous or Adventurous?

There is an add running in Canada right now that shows a series of pictures with two opposing captions. Their point, I think, is that two people can look at the same data and come up with different conclusions.

When this blog was first established, I published a post called "What's a Purple Woman?" That's the burning question when people first hear the term. As the creator and founder of Purple WomenTM, I very much embrace the values of inclusion and diversity. The goal is to have many voices represented here, indeed our blog team has British, New Zealand, U.S. and Canadian voices as contributors -- and we are just getting started.

The unique quality Purple WomenTM have in common is that nobody calls us "Mom". For most of us that means that we do not have children in our family, nor plan to. I admire and want to learn from those who have always known childfree was the path for them, also called "early articulators". That is really how this whole project came to fruition. Very selfishly, I need thier wisdom, support and encouragement because my path is a different one. If I can help someone else along the way with what I create (website, blog, survey, articles, and eventually the book), even better.

Since launching the survey I have heard from a couple of women who are disappointed that step-parents are not included in the questionnaire. I welcome them to the Purple WomenTM circle, but dare not change the focus and design of my survey or risk corrupting the data. At the same time, I would gently ask...

"If your step-child knew that you considered yourself childfree, would it hurt their feelings?

The term Purple WomenTM is a creation of my imagination, and thus needs defining and refining, and I appreciate the feedback. Creating a dialogue is the most important aspect to this blog. On that note, I will place a few key links -- Defining Blogposts -- in the sidebar to help establish my intention. Stay tuned!


Anonymous said...

"If your step-child knew that you considered yourself childfree, would it hurt their feelings?"

Why would it?

I'm childfree, which means I do not ever want to give birth or have biological children. It means I'm not obsessed with children I don't have. It means I don't regret not breeding. It doesn't mean I dislike my stepkids.

I can see why you'd ask that question, but it's not at all well thought out. My stepkids are RELIEVED that they will never have to compete with a "Golden Child". They'll never have to wonder if their dad likes another kid more than them. They'll never have to resent another kid who gets their dad all the time instead of every other week. And yes, they'll never have to share time with me, either.

Anonymous said...

Yes, my stepchild knows I'm CF. Yes, it does hurt her feelings. So what? It's not my fault she may somehow take it personally to mean I don't like her (which is not the case). My CFness has nothing to do with her. I didn't have to push her out of my birth canal and change her diapers...so why should she assume I don't like her just because I'm CF?

Anonymous said...

The whole step-thing is terribly complex. You (both?) sound like PW to me. I hope you take the survey and weigh in. Your voice is important and I thank you for taking the time to shed some light on an area that I have no experience in.

Your comments about the "Golden Child" scenario are particularly poinant.

P.S. I cannot tell if you are two people or one commenting here. Did you know that can create an online personae by using a pseudonym? Yep, and you don't have to sign up for anything.

P.P.S. I think I know who you are...professional match-maker? You made me aware of this issue of defining PW when I first met you. Personally I am comfortable with a little gray.