Purple Women & Friends
Tell a parent that you’re childfree, and chances are you’ll hear the timeless retort,
“You don’t know what you’re missing.” This comment exasperates me to no end, usually because I take it for what it is: a thinly veiled, critical judgment of my choices. But as much as I dislike this loaded statement, I have to admit, there is a good chance I really might be missing out on something.
Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to love my own child. I love my husband more than anyone else in the world, so I try to relate how I’d feel about a child to how I feel about him. Our connection is so intense that sometimes it overwhelms me, and I think that losing him would be like losing myself.
Would my love for a child be similar? Or would it be even stronger, since the connection would be both physical and emotional? I tend to think I couldn’t love my husband as fervently if I had to share my devotion with a child, but what if it doesn’t work that way? What if I was able to have two great loves in my life, and could have twice as much joy? Unfortunately there’s only one way to find out, and that’s quite a risk to take.
As much as I dislike society’s mystification of the bond between parent and child, I can’t deny that there must be something uniquely special about that connection. After all, even God used the father-son relationship to explain His love to the world. There’s something powerful there that I’ll never be able to experience.
Yes, I know that part of what I am “missing” involves loud unpleasant noises, in-depth contact with various bodily fluids, and a terrible restriction of personal freedom. No big loss there, that’s for sure. And for me, I don’t think there’s any other loss either.
I know that God doesn’t want me to have children, so that must mean He’s got something better in store for me. There must be something pretty special that parents are missing out on too.Flickr photo by Mr.mt (cc)
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