The Little Girl Who Came to Dinner

Kids say the darndest things. I have a story to tell that involves a little girl who came to dinner with her parents last month. She is cute as a button, a future prima ballerina, and all of three and a half years old. Her parents don't seem to curb her much and I really had to hold my tongue a few times.

We currently live in my mother-in-law's house, the house my husband grew up in. This lady was known to many as grandma and there are toys all over the place to prove it. Some of the toys at this house are genuine antiques, the likes of which have never been seen by the current generation of kids. We were rather hoping that if we introduced our friend's daughter to some of these toys that she would settle down and entertain herself. No such luck. She expected us to give her all our attention, and she got worse as the evening went on.

At dinner she busted my chops for giving her a paper napkin instead of a nice cloth napkin like the adults had. She spilled her water glass all over the table and I was never so grateful for the custom table cover as not a drop of water got through to the beautiful wood underneath. After dinner, my husband and the little girl's father sought refuge by remaining in their seats and talking amongst themselves on their favorite topics of hunting and fishing. I was left to clearing the table and to entertaining our little guest. I didn't really like the separation of sexes. I felt as if I was in a Victorian era time warp and that the men might pull out stogies at any time.

I have to stop myself here and say something positive about this child. Our little guest tried everything on her plate without a fuss. That really impressed me and my husband as our nieces and nephews are the most finicky on the planet.

The child's mother told her that there would be no dessert if she did not finish her plate, which I thought was a good disciplinary move; however, I couldn't help notice that she did not finish her place and the child got dessert anyway. I guess you have to pick your battles. After dessert and coffee, her mother then suggested we put on music so she could dance for us in the living room. I politely acquiesced. Big mistake. She danced for us and at first it was really cute, then she wouldn't allow us to talk during the performance.

The most surprising thing that happened on this social experiment of an evening was a conversation my husband had with the little girl when I was out of the room. He said she was standing next to him in the kitchen, staring at him for the longest time. He could tell there was a big question forming in her little brain. Then she blurted out:

"Why don't you have children?"

This made him smile as he replied, "We do have children. We have lots of nieces and nephews."

Perhaps this was not the most direct and honest answer, but it seemed to satisfy her at the time. It must have seemed strange to her that we were surrounded by toys and not children. As my husband I reflected on the evening the next day, trying to think through how we could have made the evening any better, we realized we may be the only childfree adults this little girl has ever been around.

As hosts, we felt we should have served dinner earlier, as it may have been much past the child's normal dinner hour. Her mother could have had a better plan for this too. I am sure the whole evening had them off her normal routines, which are very important for little ones. A new mother doesn't always know these things nor how to coordinate with a hostess. If my mother-in-law had been present I am sure she would have offered this sage advice. As a childfree adult, I kept my mouth shut.

This whole episode in my life reminds me of Twiga's post, Friendships, which addressed the awkwardness Purple-minded folks sometimes experience when mingling with their childed friends .


Technorati Tag: Childfree