January 11, 2006

Book Review: Families of Two

This is the title of a book by Laura Carroll with photos by Krista Bartz. It very simply presents the lives of 15 couples who are happily married and without children -- by choice. The same dozen or so questions were asked of each couple. The paths leading them to the same lifestyle choice are diverse, but the adjectives they use to describe their coupledom echo throughout the book. Here is a link to the author's related page: Families of Two.
(Photo above by Teri Tith)
Do Purple WomenTM experience greater relationship satisfaction than couples whose lives are focused on children? If both partners are cheerfully childfree, I would guess -- yes.


AthenaMarina said...

I am pretty sure it was BEFORE we got married that we discussed children. It might have been when he asked me to marry him, or even before that. Anyway, I continue to make it very clear!! And "check in" with him regularly that he's still happy being child-free!
The main advantages are that we have more alone time plus our together time is focussed on each other. E.g. if we go out for dinner (not that we do that very often) or even just at meal times at home and at the end of the day, we chat with no interruptions.
His alone time is spent watching football on TV, which he really enjoys and mine is spent surfing the net or playing games online. We've also travelled a bit, both alone and together. I know it's only been three years of marriage this may but we are still very much in love, perhaps more so than ever before! In fact, I went out for a staff do recently and on the way home I said that although I'd had a nice night out, I was looking forward to seeing hubby again. Well, two of my colleagues were telling me that things may change when (when?) we have kids. We might be (all-be-it temporarily) passing each other like "ships in the night", being so busy caring for the kids!
Some people - probably most people - cherish that but I know it's not for me. I don't think it's for us!!! My husband told me his niece and nephew are like "angels" they are SO cute. I asked him did he want one?
He said no! He added that the babies (twins!) cried so much!!!
Part of the reason I want to stay child-free is so I, we, can focus more on our relationship, on nurturing it. I hope he never changes his mind and leaves me for someone who DOES want kids but I've told him that if he does, I'll understand. Not that I'll be happy about it, but I'll understand. I just want us both to be happy. And right now - we are! Very much so!
I saw a "mechanical" baby on "Charmed" today (which I was watching on DVD) It cried like a real baby, whether you wanted it to or not and then you had to pick it up and hold it!! The couple realised in the end that babies were not a good idea at the time, but maybe later on. I wondered; where do I GET one of those?
I think it's harder for men to get opportunities to spend time with children because people are more suspicious of them. However, he could always help his brother and sister in law take care of their kids and see how he finds it.
For now, however, both of us are perfectly happy as a family of two. VERY happy!

Anonymous said...

Dear AM -- I think we owe it to our (do we really have any?) readers and any blurkers out there to find out where one can obtain a mechanincal baby!