Guest Contributor: WalkerGirl
Alias: AlphaGirl, a former regular contributor to PW
Blog: Walk This Way
Raising childfree hell since 1995.
Orange County, California
I don’t think babies are cute..unless they are sleeping or in pictures.
I don’t think kids say the darndest things.
I don’t work with or volunteer with kids.
A screaming child is an aural assault comparable to only a jackhammer or sonic feedback. I don’t care what the kid’s problem is. Just quiet him/her.
I don’t see infants and children as any more “precious” than an adult.
Parental entitlement gets on my nerves, as do poor parenting practices.
Oh, the horror. I can hear it now: “Keep quiet. You’ll make us look bad!”How so? I wonder each time I encounter this attitude, either online or in person. Why does my truth have to “make” everyone else look “bad”?I see and hear so much apologizing, fence-sitting, justifying, and mumbling from childfree folks I don’t have to wonder why they are being bothered by their church, relative, friends, pets, and perfect strangers.
Just as a predator can smell fear, an intrusive relative or other person can sense one’s uncertainty at hearing their own voice state what is true for them.So begins the Greek chorus of “You’ll change your mind” “It’s different when they’re your own”, “You don’t know what you’re missing”, and well, you know the rest.
Very few people question my decision; I state it in a way that lets them know it’s not open for discussion…am I hostile? Am I a “bad” Purple Woman for being so “adamant”? Not in my eyes. I love the fact I was confident enough in myself at an early age to address and make my decision. Perhaps people aren’t used to hearing such clarity and conviction. Instead, they’re used to hearing justifying, excuse-making, apologizing, and foot-shuffling.
Time to stop being so darn “nice.” Stop working with kids if kids aren’t really your thing. Time to stop appeasing those intrusive people with excuses and justification. Your reproductive future is none of their business. They make it their business because you allow them to. Let them know in your own way that the topic isn’t open for discussion if you feel it doesn’t need to be. Time to stop being so accommodating of parents when they glare at you for politely asking them to shush a noisy child.
Time to stop indulging parents when they tell you for the 100th time that MiKayla used the Big Potty today. If that’s your thing, rock on, but if it’s not, say so. Chances are, those parents tune out anyway when you describe some of your interests. Pfft. to the double standard. Stop apologizing for who you are and what you want (or don’t want) from life.
You get the picture by now. You don’t need to be hostile, of course. You don’t need to be loud.
The childfree movement has many voices; some are loud; some are passionate; some are forceful and humorous; some are on the “fringe” and loving every minute of it.There is a fine line between Live and Let Live and Peace at Any Price. Another fine line divides assertiveness and aggression. Where you are on that continuum is up to you; find your voice, speak your choice, live your life. Just don’t be so darn “nice” all the time.
Technorati Tag: Childfree
September 01, 2006
Guest Contributor: WalkerGirl