The Sandbox

If you are going to play in the sandbox, you have to play by the rules.

Madame M posted recently on the art of disagreeing, as it applies to the blogosphere: If You Have Nothing Nice to Say. One of her commenters felt that opinions were open game but criticizing lifestyles was off limits. This team blog is by, for, and about women who are childfree.

The whole underlying point of our blog is that our lifestyle is acceptable, despite the reactions we get in a child-centric society.

M eloquently writes:

"...as adults, the ability to think critically, criticize, form your own opinions, and try to influence or create awareness in others is a prized and necessary, not reviled, skill."

So, when is it okay to delete a comment as a blog administrator/owner?

A woman left a comment on Twiga's November post titled Friendships saying that she did not approve of "our message". It made me wonder what she thought our message was. Did she think we are recruiting others to be childfree? Maybe she thinks all women should be mothers.

I had used this woman's Creative Commons-licensed image to illustrate the post, properly thanked and attributed. I deleted her comment. Its condescending tone annoyed me, perhaps because she was criticizing our lifestyle. Perhaps it was her additional, and unnecessary dig about how "having children is all about sharing", and that she begrudgingly agreed for me to use the picture despite disapproving of "our message". I offer her a public apology.

Her comment made me reflect on what our true messages are, and whether or not you can decipher them when you land on our front page. They include:

• Woman does not equal mother.
• I'm okay, you're okay.
• Think it over (parenthood is a choice).
• Infertility does not have to end in misery.
• Childfree adults are an important part of "the village".
  

The Ground Rules of engagement are in the sidebar, yet I always feel I should let readers know why a comment was deleted. I may have erred in this case. It would have been interesting to see what dialogue flowed from her comment. Creating dialogue is what blogging is all about.

[Photo: Originally uploaded to Flickr on November 25, 2006 by joguldi.]

Technorati Tag: Childfree