July 15, 2006

Selfish or Focused?

Selfish is a label applied liberally to adults who choose not to have children, including those who always thought they’d be parents, but circumstances dictated otherwise. I prefer to think of it as focused. Childfree are otherwise focused. Perhaps we are focused on a career or cure. Perhaps not something so lofty, but contented all the same.

Perhaps a really great book or a documentary really got through to you and you realize what an impact one life (and all the trash that goes with it) makes on the earth. You live green and try to convince others to do the same. You are driven to give back because of all you are taking; the footprint you are making.

Perhaps you inherited something you don’t want to pass along. I call that selfless.

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Robin said...

I think it's just a matter of being really honest with yourself despite what society thinks you should do. It's about knowing what's best for you and what you can offer the world.

I think the most selfish thing is having a kid not being able to give all you can for that kid. It's awful seeing parents miserable as parents and all they do is bitch about their children. I'd hate myself forever if I became one of them.

LauraS said...

There is the idea that parenthood is the path by which we are realized and tested and finally mature as citizens. Yes, that is one path. However, if you take off your blinders you will see the other paths, too.
Great post Teri!!