Career or Child?

Many people seem to make the assumption that when a woman chooses not to have a child, she is making the choice in order to concentrate on her career. I've seen this even in books that I've read about making the childfree choice. Perhaps for many women this is the case. But once again, assumptions are not always correct and can cause misunderstandings.

For me, the choice not to have children had nothing to do with a career. I actually made the choice before I even had a career! I would love to have the freedom to only work part-time or not at all. Financially that is not possible for us right now. So people may look at my life and assume I've chosen a career rather than children. Especially in the Christian circles that I frequent. However, their assumption is wrong.

That is one thing that I hope to help educate others. We should never assume the reasons behind other people's choices in life. Rather we should respect their choices and not put labels on them.

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Am I a childfree advocate?

I have spent over three years working on a book and documentary project on childless by choice couples. Do I call myself an advocate? No. I don’t advocate a childfree life. For many of the childfree, it’s not an easy decision. It’s a process. It requires that you be self-aware and impervious to external pressure. It can be isolating. Your motives will be questioned.

Most people can’t imagine a life without kids. But it was the right choice for me.

All I advocate is that people listen to their heart and make the best decision for themselves. Or not.

[Blog Administrator's note: This topic was also raised in this post by Teri if you wish to read more.]


Technorati Tag: Childfree

Childless: No Choice

Childless: No Choice
by James H. Monach
1993

This book is about couples who want kids more than anything and cannot have them. There are lots of paths open to them medically and also adoption...if they can afford it.

About 20 years ago I went looking for a good book about being an adult female without kids. All I could find were books more in the categories above. I really didn't want to go down that sad path and find disappointment at the end, nor was I in a relationship that could support it, emotionally or financially.

Labels are so convenient; childless and childfree (child-free) terms mean different things to different people. I prefer to be Purple. It's more fun, and it gets the conversation started.

When I see the above book title, I think of the path not taken. I was in my early 20s and was facing the reality that I would never bear my own children. I needed to explore other options. I had seen the price tag on IVF and in-vitro procedures and felt that if I had that kind of money there might be better uses. I am glad I chose my alternative adult identity and found a man who is like-minded (but, don't call him Purple – tee, hee).

At Purple Women & Friends, we invite everyone to the table, just bring your curiosity and an open mind. I hope our blog, with multiple voices and viewpoints, helps others explore the path less traveled.

I invite mothers, fathers, lovers, friends and siblings of Purple Women^TM to participate in the conversation...starting with my own!

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Chocolate Incentive

marzipan chocolate thing
Originally uploaded by roboppy.

Yo -- check our Typo Guarantee!

If we're going to do this, let's do this right. I invite your help and participation in making this the best site possible, and I am willing to provide a chocolate incentive. You will find my email in the sidebar if you want to get in touch.

Note: Purple Women^TM always has a trademark -- Purple Woman (singular) does not, but I like to capitalize it anyway.

Our Stat Counter is working hard for us in the sidebar. (still cannot believe it's a free blog tool). I am now learning about Google Analytics because it can give you way too much information to ponder. We have leveled off in our readership. For the past few months they have been consistent. Although we have only a dozen subscribers by email, (RSS users do now show up as FeedBlitz subscribers) our actual statistics are much more revealing.

Weekly Stats Report: 18 Sep - 24 Sep 2006

Total Avg Pageloads 427

Unique Visitors 259

First Time Visitors 145

Returning Visitors 114


Technorati Tag: Childfree

The Color of Women

Every once in a while, I hear from a new reader directly by email. It really makes my day/week/month. I have found that there is a similar ring to the correspondence. Sort of a non-audible, ahhhhh, the thud of a soft landing place for those of us who are not parents, and not particularly militant about it. I don't recruit, I explore, and I do it with the help of my fine Purple girlfriends (we're childfree)!

I chose the colorful honorific because I wanted to define myself, rather than to let others do it for me. Some would call me childless, some would call me childfree, (some would even hyphenate child-free, which I advocate against in this post). The side benefit is that the color purple makes a lot of people curious, and curiosity gets the conversation going.

Recently, I changed the name of the blog to Purple Women & Friends in hopes of encouraging broader participation and civil disagreement -- all in the name of enlightenment. This has already changed the dynamics of this space. Parents and non-parents alike are participating in the dialogue, even men and young women who are not sure about the big decision to parent or not to parent. I hope we all get to enjoy another year of interesting posts from multiple contributors and commenters.

As one young woman recently wrote:

“I have mixed feelings about being rabidly child-free, however: I like kids, I think I might like to have kids, but I'm not sure it's right for my husband and I for a few good reasons. When friends have kids, they disappear into the kid world, and I'm left with fewer and fewer people 'like me'... Refreshing to find this blog- thanks!”

Such a big life decision should be a conscious one. It’s a big choice to make, regardless of how long it takes you. The choice, whatever it be, and the act of choosing is very empowering. I think of this blog as a place to explore the other side of the fence. For those undecided, please check out this post: Fence Sitters. I suspect a lot of contemporary young women identify with childfree and are thinking it over, much more than the generation that preceded them.


Technorati Tag: Childfree

Gloria and Me

Yesterday, I had the privilege of interviewing Gloria MacDonald, for the Portraits of Purple Women part of the book I am developing. You can expect an arrested development over the next couple of weeks as my husband and I make the long journey back home to California after 20 months of expat living in Toronto, Canada. Moving can be a little disruptive to productivity!

Gloria has been a Guest Contributor on this site. You may remember her post Childfree Dating which we published in June. She is a dynamo and it was great to sit in her cozy living room and soak up her energy. Gloria is president of Perfect Partners. We first met at an eWomenNetwork event. I rather like the quotation on her business card:

"The desire for companionship and love is basic to our natures and fundamental to our well being."

She probably said it herself! As a professional match maker and a former magazine executive who was in a position to hire and manage women from both sides of the fence, she had some interesting insights for Purple Women^TM. Also, she asked me to mention that she is looking for someone who is interested in becoming a Perfect Partners matchmaker. She provides the training.

[Photo: Teri in Gloria's living room wearing another Isabel Morales creation. The book was a gift from me to Gloria!]


Technorati Tag: Childfree

You Can Subscribe!

A question came in this week about subscriptions to this blog. I have recently adjusted the email subscription option via Feedblitz to a once a week compilation to your In Box on Fridays, rather than once a day. I don't want to become spam after all.

The details are found in a link below every post where you see the words:

"Get updates by email or mobile device."

This takes you to my original post about the two types of subscription available, other than using your own RSS service.

To subscribe by email simply enter your email address in the box found in the sidebar. It's just below Ground Rules, below Featured Blog Posts, below the Official PW Website, under the header: Subscribe.

Technorati Tag: Childfree

We Assume

Have you ever tried to guess someone’s ethnic group? This is especially dicey when it comes to Asians. I am half Asian myself, so I’ve often been on the receiving end of this, but I’ll never forget the time I mistook a Korean woman for Japanese. My excuse is that I have one close friend who is Japanese, but have never had a Korean friend. These two countries may have similar cuisines, but neither are flattered when mistaken for the other. There’s a long history there and past deeds of one country toward another that still colors the manner in which these two peoples perceive and relate to each other in present day.

How does this relate to being childfree? It’s really about assumptions. As Laura’s most recent post points out, we, Purple and parent alike, operate on assumptions every day. It’s an ingrained habit. It can help streamline daily communication, potentially expedite tasks. But what happens if our frame of reference is not the same as someone else’s? It all breaks down. Sort of like working in a corporate framework that uses a lot of acronyms and then transferring to another industry that uses an entirely different set. All of a sudden we are not communicating, even worse, we offend.

We can’t expect someone to know everything about us by looking at us. I’ve often joked with my fellow CFers that we’re just like serial killers, we’re not really purple, we look just like everybody else! It’s fun to poke fun at it, but often not fun to be on the receiving end of the assumption. And we all know what assumption does…, it makes an ASS out of U and ME (ASS-U-ME, get it?).

Do Koreans get mistaken for Japanese? Yes. Will perfect strangers continue to assume that I have children? Yes, as least for another decade or so. How we handle the response can either enlighten or enshroud. Do what’s best for you in the moment. Sometimes you just don’t have time to educate every person you come across.

There are other ways to make an impact. Laura has decided to focus on her energy on creating documentary about childfree couples. That should enlighten a few people.

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Book Review: We Need to Talk About Kevin

Eva didn’t want to have children or at least it was the one thing she was most afraid of. From practically the moment she became pregnant with Kevin everything was turned upside down.
I’ve heard this novel described as “parenting gone wrong” and I think that is by far the easiest way to explain this story. A mother gives birth to a child she has no maternal instincts towards and grows to intensely dislike.

We Need to Talk About Kevin is told through letters Eva is writing to her estranged husband as she tells the truth of what happened and how she felt about it. A large part of the book centers around how she felt she was a bad mother and that she is the one to blame.

The reason she decidedly begins unraveling this story is because one day her not quite 16 year old son decided to murder a bunch of students at school, a teacher and a cafeteria worker as well. Newspapers, television and other parents all seemed to question her parenting skills and whether she was behind what went so very wrong with her son.

Reading Kevin was exhilarating and terrifying at times as well. I found myself in awe of the honesty and brutal reality Eva diverged to the readers. Just when you think you are prepared for where the story is taking you it switches gears and you need to hold on for that sharp turn.

Personally, I found the husband, Franklin, the most infuriating character. Maybe it’s wrong, or maybe I just took sides, but I felt his rose colored glasses towards his son was what was the constant problem. If the father stepped back and was willing to see what was happening with his son, instead of blaming everyone else, just maybe the tides could have changed.

In the end I was left wondering if Kevin was really that disturbed or if that was just how she envisioned him in her mind? Could he sense how much she didn’t want him and was it all just a need for the love that was unavailable? Was there anything anyone could have done to change the outcome?

This book is about a lot and still leaves a lot of questions; questions most of us may be afraid to answer.

Originally posted on The Road Less Unraveled.

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Too Tired to Explain

I was in a rush to make a purchase for my husband in a clothing store when the chatty salesperson looked at the name on my credit card and asked if my husband’s family lived nearby. I told her his family was in Scotland and mine was in Canada.

"And you live in the States?" she asked. "So what citizenship are your kids?"

"Canadian," I responded. I smiled, gabbed the shopping bag, and left.

I felt bad. I didn’t have Canadian kids. I didn’t have any kids. Didn’t want any kids. But I was too tired and rushed to bother to correct her. So I lied.

I lied because I have found that explaining your childfree status to strangers is awkward. If you just say, "I don’t have kids," some women are inclined to put on the pity face, assuming infertility.

If you tell them you’re childless by choice, some feel the need convert you or to say "lucky you" followed by some disparaging remarks about their own less than perfect kids, just to make you feel better.

Their intentions are good, but their responses to childlessness just shows how far we still need to go to accept the reality of a mature women who is childfree.

I don’t particularly want to be the object of pity or envy. I just want people to realize that there are many women and men in North America that are childless and content.


Technorati Tag: Childfree

Never Say Never

Recently I was reminded by a college classmate of mine that I had used the phrase "never say never" in college. At the time, I had used it in the context that I didn't want to become a pastor's wife. But knowing that things change, I said "never say never", knowing that I could fall in love with someone who would be a pastor (going to Bible college, a lot of the guys there were training to be pastors). My college classmate had come across my blog and was intrigued by my childfree choice. She asked me about my phrase and what that meant in regards to my childfree status.

There is still possibility out there that I could have children. In that sense, I would still say "never say never". For me it comes from my belief that God is in control and if He desires I have children, then He could orchestrate it. The chances of my becoming pregnant are extremely slim since my husband has had a vasectomy. However, if somehow I did become pregnant, I already know that my beliefs are such that I wouldn't have an abortion. Most likely, my husband and I would choose to give the baby up for adoption since we don't have the means to raise the child and do not want to be parents ourselves.

In the beginning of our marriage we talked about the possibility of changing our minds in the future. We knew that there was the option of adopting if we decided someday that we wanted children. But we felt strongly that we were making the right choice for us. Now, as we approach our 9-year anniversary, I have no doubts that we made the right choice. I still have no desire to have children. I'm past the 30-year mark and my biological clock is definitely NOT ticking!

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Childfree Book Reviews

As a recap of our first year, I thought I would do a compilation post on the fiction and non-fiction books in the childfree realm that have been reviewed on this site. (Click through to read a review!)

Baby Proof (2006)
Emily Giffin
Popular chic lit novelist takes on "outside the norm" again, this time with a childfree married couple. The story unfolds when the husband changes his mind...

Baby Not On Board (2005)
Jennifer L. Shawne
Humour book with great illustrations. Great topical blog associated with this book (see sidebar). Would appeal to parents and non-parents alike.

The Baby Trap (1997)
Ellen Peck
Includes frank discussions about cultural brainwashing, contraception and the controversies of being childfree. Offers tip on how to "turn up the heat" in your childfree marriage as well as steps to take for a more equitable co-existance in society.

Childfree and Lovin' It! (2005)
Nicki Defago
A British journalist describes why she is childfree and grateful every day. Interestingly, this book reveals interviews with parents who experience feelings of regret.

The Childless Revolution: What it Means to be Childless Today (2002)
Madelyn Cain
A first-time mom and journalist looks over the fence at a path not taken. Easy to read, first-person, factually-based and well-researched.

Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (1999)
Patricia Lunneborg
Intimate interviews with 30 men from the U.K. and the U.S. It's one of the few books out there that addresses this topic from a man's perspective.

Families of Two (2000)
Laura Carroll
Essays with couples who have decided for various reasons to be childfree. Nice photos by Krista Bartz accompany each story.

I'm Okay, You're a Brat (2001)
Susan Jeffers, PhD
Description...

I Hate Other People's Kids (2006)
Adrianne Frost
Written by a comedienne, guaranteed to make you squirm and laugh. A bit heavy on the sarcasm, but a classic tirade in the childfree vs. parent saga.

Maybe Baby (2006)
Edited by Lori Leibovich
A collection of essays from those who have chosen not to have children.

No Kidding (2000)
Wendy Tokunaga
A fun, fictional account of a Silicon Valley gal who comes out to her family and co-workers as a Purple Woman.

Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood from Female Identity (1993)
Mardy S. Ireland, PhD
She neatly divides childfree women into three categories: transformational (always knew they didn't want kids), transitional (delay or ambivalence decided for them), and traditional (wanted kids but for some reason couldn't have them). A very balanced, mindful look at Purple Women in society...

"…summoning the legendary first woman Lilith to represent the nonmaternal creative energies that exist in every woman and by which childless women can define themselves and their experience."
- Beverly Miller, Boise State Univ. Lib., Id.

Smilla's Sense of Snow (1992)
Peter Høeg
An international best seller and now a movie featuring Smilla, a very quotable Purple Woman. If you like action and solving mysteries, this book will appeal.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2004)
Lionel Shriver
This fictional account of a wayward teenager will scare any fence-sitters right over to the purple side.

If you've read a good book (even if it's not good) about Puple Women^TM and we've not covered it, I invite you to do a guest post for us. Let Teri know if you would like to contribute a book review. The list above is alphabetical, but it is interesting to note that most of the books we've reviewed have been published within the last 10 years. Talk about conscious-raising!

Currently reading:

Baby Boon: How a Family-Friendly America Cheats the Childless (2000)
Elinor Burkett
Review coming...!

Read, but forgot to review:

Barren in the Promised Land: Childless Americans and the Pursuit of Happiness (1997)
Elaine T. May
Review coming...!


Technorati Tag: Childfree Childfree Books

Loving What You Have

When people ask me "Why do people choose to remain childless/childfree?" I answer:

'Many reasons' but, according to my survey of over 170 North American men and women, one the most compelling reasons not to have kids, for commited partners, is marital satisfaction.

No, it’s not just about the sex. It’s the intimacy, the time, the conversations, and the focus. The freedom to make the relationship a priority. It’s loving what you have. Even if it’s just the two of you in a small house with a cat and a hobby.

How rare is that? Increasingly, very rare. In our crazy society, the relationship between husband and wife takes a back seat to work, childcare, schedules, non-work commitments, and keeping up with the Joneses.

Reality TV shows like Super Nanny and Nanny 911 reveal that the greatest disservice you can do to your family life is to forget that your spouse can be your greatest ally and friend. The childfree know this. They value this…more than they value parenthood.


Technorati Tag: Childfree

Selfish Women or Purple?

Feminism is alive and well...if you know where to look, according to this blogger. I found her post titled Selfish Women when I was searching Technorati under the term "childfree".

It amazes me how many bloggers are talking about Purple Women^TM.

Sue Richards and I connected last week. A social entrepreneur and professional blogger, she is one of the women I am profiling for the book I am developing, working title: Purple Women^TM. She reflects on her childfree status and the interview in this post on one of her blog sites, and she gave me a free Breast of Canada calendar -- yeah!

[PHOTO: Teri holding the release form for the first Portraits of Purple Women interview, wearing a hand-beaded tiger eye necklace by Isabel Morales Designs.]

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Purple Women Contributors

To all our Contributors, Readers, and Commenters, a great big...

Ten regular contributors have shared this space since this blog was founded. Here they are in order of appearance with # posts contributed to date:

Teri (Sept 05 - ), 124 posts

Dr. Wendy, 1 post

AthenaMarina, 4 posts

Boxing Tomboy, 29 posts

NikkiJ, 15 posts

Twiga92 (March 06- ), 10 posts

LauraS (March 06 - ), 16 posts

AlphaGirl, 5 posts (including one as a guest contributor)

NomadShan, 3 posts (plus some great commenting action!)

Chase, 3 posts (ditto)

Robin (Sept 06 - ), 5 posts

Isabel, 2 posts

Four guest contributors to date: VictoriaM, Gloria MacDonald, ManinBlack, Tanja, and AlphaGirl.

A total of 197 posts (including 15 book reviews) on the site to date. That’s a lot of topical content!

Technorati Tag: Childfree

First Year Milestones

Here are some of the quantifiable places we’ve been in our first year:

September 2005
First blog post; one of 20 million blogs on the planet.

February 2006
First website links to Purple Women™ - Married NoKids Editor at Bella Online.

March 2006
Added tracking features to the blog to see how we’re doing: StatCounter and GeoVisitors. Added Creative Commons license protection to the blog.

April 2006
Listed on Technorati, added their “search this blog” tool to the sidebar and implemented the use of Technorati tags on each post. Listed Purple Women™ on BlogHer in the Feminism & Gender category. First comment left by a man on a Purple Women™ post.

May 2006
Added Feedblitz subscription by email service. First Guest Post, Medium Channels Childfree Bias by VictoriaM.

June 2006
Offered blogcast syndication service hosted by SMS.ac so that readers can download a mini-version to their hand-held device with internet capability.

July 2006
Silicon Valley Moms blog links to Purple Women™. First front page post by a man, ManinBlack (alias: CarpeWritem).

August 2006
Changed title to Purple Women™ & Friends to encourage broader readership and participation. Added custom MeCommerce bookstore in sidebar to offer childfree books.

September 2006
Purple Women™ & Friends content is approved by BlogBurst (one of 2,000 syndicated blogs made available to 12 news publishing partners). We are listed under the categories of: Family & Education, News & Opinion, and Lifestyle. First blog team member to be interviewed by a journalist.

Purple Women™ & Friends celebrates first anniversary (one of 50 million blogs on the planet).

83 links to Purple Women™ & Friends from 37 blogs, according to Technorati.


Technorati Tag: Childfree

First Media Interview

I was so excited, I forgot to ask how she found out about Purple Women^TM. I spoke to journalist Judy McGuire at Bust Magazine (tagline: for women who have something to get off their chest - LOL!) this morning. She is working childfree piece for the January 2007 issue.

Whew, that sure is a long lead time. Mark your calendars.

Hope you are all enjoying your long childfree weekend (Canada & U.S.)!


Technorati Tag: Childfree

Expectations

Recently I've been going through some old college papers. One of the classes that I took in Bible college was called "Christian Home". The class took us through dating, engagement, marriage and parenting. It reminded me that when I was in high school and college,

I assumed that I would have kids. Even though I wasn't thrilled about the idea, I had decided that if the man I loved wanted kids, we would have them.

So I expected that I would have children. In reading a paper I wrote, I talked about my fear of how to raise children in the current world.

Expectations of society are very strong. I believe that if I had married someone who wanted kids, I would probably have kids by now. The choice not to have children became an option when the man I loved expressed his lack of desire to have them. The whole future of my life opened up for me.

I hope that as Purple Women™ we can open the eyes of those around us that we all have a choice. We don't have to follow society's expectations just because.

Technorati Tag: Childfree

The Childfree Senior

"So what happens when you get old, who’s going to take care of you?"

This question comes up regularly when people are invited to evaluate a childfree life.

This is what I imagine…

My husband and I are living in a small garden home in a planned community. We can walk to the bank, the grocery, the café on the corner. Our dog (the one we haven’t adopted yet, the cute little terrier or mutt from the pound) accompanies us on our trips out and forces us to get out even on the coldest days.

We acknowledge the shopkeepers, the café owner. They ask us to evaluate or sample their new offerings. We are regulars.

We shop daily for our food. The grocer offers prepared food: homemade soups, squares of his mom’s famous lasagna, maybe some tiramisu if our diet allows it. Sometimes dinner is cheese, fruit and crackers in front of the TV as we watch our latest Netflicks selection.

I go to aquarobics twice a week and vounteer at the art museum. We go out with the Dinner Club group once a week. Occassionally we go to a see the guest lecturer at the college. We visit our homebound friends, with a box of lasagna from the grocer. We trust that someone will do this for us when we are ill or homebound. We have a wide circle of friends—we call them our tribe. We spend Thanksgiving with them, we open our home on Christmas Eve and we share food and wine.

We take care of each other when we can. When we can’t we’ll take one final Mediterannean cruise and we move into the assisted living apartment we have picked out. The one that has the beautiful courtyard we can look out on. The one that has a therapy dog called Rufus who likes to lick hands. Jean, our tribe elder, lives down the hall. Oftentimes she forgets my name but she always remembers the time I mistakenly walked in the men’s room in Spain and the guy at the urinal gave me a full frontal.

We’re never too old to laugh.

Photo: Originally uploaded to Flickr on October 16, 2006 by *butterfly net*

Technorati Tag: Childfree

One Whole Year of Purple Women!

I offer you this poem on the first anniversary of our first blog post on September 2, 2005:

Calling women short and tall;

Women with no kids at all!

She may be auntie, sister, wife...

...it's all about her choice in life.

Who is this woman,

this new friend?

A Purple Woman 'til the end!

Technorati Tag: Childfree

Confessions of a “Bad” Purple Woman

Guest Contributor: WalkerGirl
Alias: AlphaGirl, a former regular contributor to PW
Blog: Walk This Way
Raising childfree hell since 1995.
Orange County, California

I don’t think babies are cute..unless they are sleeping or in pictures.

I don’t think kids say the darndest things.

I don’t work with or volunteer with kids.

A screaming child is an aural assault comparable to only a jackhammer or sonic feedback. I don’t care what the kid’s problem is. Just quiet him/her.

I don’t see infants and children as any more “precious” than an adult.

Parental entitlement gets on my nerves, as do poor parenting practices.

Oh, the horror. I can hear it now: “Keep quiet. You’ll make us look bad!”

How so? I wonder each time I encounter this attitude, either online or in person. Why does my truth have to “make” everyone else look “bad”?I see and hear so much apologizing, fence-sitting, justifying, and mumbling from childfree folks I don’t have to wonder why they are being bothered by their church, relative, friends, pets, and perfect strangers.

Just as a predator can smell fear, an intrusive relative or other person can sense one’s uncertainty at hearing their own voice state what is true for them.

So begins the Greek chorus of “You’ll change your mind” “It’s different when they’re your own”, “You don’t know what you’re missing”, and well, you know the rest.

Very few people question my decision; I state it in a way that lets them know it’s not open for discussion…am I hostile? Am I a “bad” Purple Woman for being so “adamant”? Not in my eyes. I love the fact I was confident enough in myself at an early age to address and make my decision. Perhaps people aren’t used to hearing such clarity and conviction. Instead, they’re used to hearing justifying, excuse-making, apologizing, and foot-shuffling.

Time to stop being so darn “nice.” Stop working with kids if kids aren’t really your thing. Time to stop appeasing those intrusive people with excuses and justification. Your reproductive future is none of their business. They make it their business because you allow them to. Let them know in your own way that the topic isn’t open for discussion if you feel it doesn’t need to be. Time to stop being so accommodating of parents when they glare at you for politely asking them to shush a noisy child.

Time to stop indulging parents when they tell you for the 100th time that MiKayla used the Big Potty today. If that’s your thing, rock on, but if it’s not, say so. Chances are, those parents tune out anyway when you describe some of your interests. Pfft. to the double standard. Stop apologizing for who you are and what you want (or don’t want) from life.

You get the picture by now. You don’t need to be hostile, of course. You don’t need to be loud.

The childfree movement has many voices; some are loud; some are passionate; some are forceful and humorous; some are on the “fringe” and loving every minute of it.

There is a fine line between Live and Let Live and Peace at Any Price. Another fine line divides assertiveness and aggression. Where you are on that continuum is up to you; find your voice, speak your choice, live your life. Just don’t be so darn “nice” all the time.


Technorati Tag: Childfree