by Guest Contributor
Perfect Partners – the personal relationship executive search firm
The desire and decision to have children or not have children is a huge issue in the dating and relationship world. I speak from a very significant amount of experience on this from two points of view: first, as a woman who is childfree, and who made a conscious decision to be childfree, and has been through the mid-life dating experience. And second, as the owner of a dating service that caters to 40+ professionals, who has interviewed literally hundreds of single men and women, both with and without children; some wanting to have children and some not wanting to have children.
I’m amazed at the number of divorced people with children, who don’t want to meet someone because they haven’t had children. I often meet single parents, who are looking for a new partner, who tell me that they feel someone who hasn’t had children just couldn’t relate to their lifestyle and wouldn’t be able to relate to their children. Fortunately, I have plenty of personal experience, and experience with clients, to know this doesn’t have to be the case.
I’m thrilled to be in a relationship with a wonderful husband and an 18 year old step-son. My husband’s son was 15 when we first met and we’ve had a fantastic relationship from day one. We’re good “buds”. Sometimes we even gang up on his dad together. I’ve always loved kids and related to them really well. I’ve also had a very successful, demanding career, which I’ve loved, and I’ve never had that burning desire to have my own children. In fact, I’ve always known that I really didn’t want to have my own children. Being a step-mom to a teenager, who spends every weekend with us, is absolutely the best of all worlds to me!
I have a couple who got married just four months ago. I probably spent at least 20 minutes on the phone with him, talking him into meeting her. He was terribly concerned that she would never be able to understand him and his lifestyle because he had two teenage daughters, and she didn’t have any children. Here they are two years later very happily married.
Obviously, not every situation is the same. I also have plenty of childfree clients who feel that they really don’t want to meet someone with children, or at least with children who are not grown and out of the house. In these cases the childfree person usually feels that they wouldn’t relate that well to kids, and/or their lifestyle is such that it would have to change too dramatically to accommodate a family with children.
There’s no right or wrong answer to the question of to have children, or not to have children. Whatever the person’s desire and decision is, it’s critical to take this into account in the dating and relationship process.
At Perfect Partners we take these personal preferences into account in our matching process. Our service is patterned after the model of an executive search firm. Each client is unique. Therefore we offer a personalized service and take a proactive approach to finding your Perfect Partner. Instead of just relying on clients in our own database, we search through a wide web of contacts, referrals and resources, including specific advertising for individual clients. We’re committed to finding your "perfect partner".
The desire for companionship and love are basic to our natures and fundamental to our well being. I believe that the "perfect partner" is out there for anyone who has a sincere desire to find him/her.
I do believe that the "perfect partner" is out there for you - that unique match that feels like your favorite pair of old slippers, that special someone who fits like the piece of a puzzle. My goal is to help you find your special someone to share your laughter, joy, adventure and special moments with.
Technorati Tag: Childfree
June 30, 2006
by Guest Contributor