May 01, 2006

Childfree = Me

To me, "childfree" denotes a choice made. I made this choice several years ago with my husband, and we have absolutely no regrets.

How other people label our family choice instantly clues how they feel about it:

  • Childfree: we are unencumbered, and have the right to make that decision for ourselves. Very few people have used this term to describe us. Usually it's...
  • Childless, as in something is missing.


A lot of folks seem to think we're going to wander aimlessly without children to raise. They're right about the roaming - we're avid long-term travelers. But two motivated, goal-oriented people could hardly be considered aimless.

Many women consider me selfish: you owe it to society (what?), you owe it to your parents (wait - huh?), God gave you a uterus to have babies, how dare you not use it (so many assumptions there, I don't know where to begin!). Some just don't consider me a complete woman.

Reactions abroad have been great. A German friend, upon hearing Dave say we weren't having kids, looked at me and said, "But you want them, right?" A British woman thought that children were the only logical step beyond marriage - why would I want to spend all my time with my husband? Best of all, a Thai taxi driver asked, "Who will cry for you when you die?"

The fact is, I simply don't have the desire to be a mother. I don't need to leave a genetic trace. I don't need to create another human being to feel accomplished. I don't need a mini-me.

I enjoy going to bed when I get tired and waking up when I'm rested. I have the time to delve into my interests and the energy to pursue them to exhaustion, if I want. I have the resources to travel, eat and drink well, renovate my house, meet my bills, and save for the future. My husband is my best friend, and we can give each other undivided attention.

Selfish? You bet.

Preaching to the choir? Mmm-hmm.

Missing something? Not this gal.




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3 comments:

ChrisR said...

"Missing something? Not this gal."

Couldn't have put it better myself! A nice positive riff to put a smile on my face. Ta :)

NikkiJ said...

Chris - you must be British ;-) Or know some. Which is it? Only Brits (or folks from Oz) understand when I say "Ta!" Oh and my husband, but he's used to hearing me say it...

Teri said...

Yeah, childFREE does have a nice ring to it. Of course, PUPLE is even more mysterious and alluring...