May 02, 2006

That Look

An ex-boyfriend of mine told me while we were dating that he noticed that women got a certain look on their faces whenever they saw a baby. "I've seen that look on your face, too. You want one," he said. "In what fantasy world are you living in?" I asked him.

What look? I think that is indicative of a lot of people. As soon as see a woman who has no children showing any kind of interest in a kid, the assumption is that she wants to be a mother. I have played with babies of friends, gave money to kids who didn't have enough to get what they wanted from the ice cream truck, and complimented parents on how well-dressed their kids were. How does any of that translate to having "baby ravies"? Can't a woman just enjoy the presence of being around some kids?

10 comments:

AlphaGirl said...

Not in this crazy culture, where girls are conditioned from birth to want to be mothers.
I was once playing with a co-workers kid, a very sweet 8 y/o. Someone came over to my desk and said, "now, see, I told you you'd change your mind!"
Not bloody likely.

NikkiJ said...

People's faces often soften when they see a small child, or baby, without us really being aware of it. Babies do that, and we're human, we respond...

Methinks your ex, however, as do many others, was probably looking for confirmation/validation of his own beliefs - that every woman, deep down, wants a baby. That's why they jump on even the tiniest sign of affection towards children by a childfree person. It's like they hear what you say, they just don't really believe it, even if they say they do. As far as they are concerned any affinity affection or emotion shown towards children translates to "you want a baby" or you're so good with children "you should have your own".

NikkiJ said...

LOL... or " See, I told you you'd change your mind..."

nomadshan said...

The funny thing is, as soon as I decided not to have kids, I started to enjoy other people's kids more. Sometimes I use my friends' babies as practice for handling my new niece!

ChrisR said...

"you're so good with children, you should have your own"

I babysat for an older colleague on the uni newspaper one night with a friend of mine. The 4 year old was fine, read him a dumb story and off to bed.

However the baby had colic and was a walker, so I paced the corridor all night with this mite *screaming* in my ear. On the way out the door around midnight my friend said 'why don't you want children? you're so good with them'. The only retort I could muster was 'no way I'm doing *that* 24 hours a day!'

Some people really just don't get it.

Teri said...

Chris -- Okay, I know what a mite is (small red spider looking thing) but what is a "uni" newspaper?

Grins,
T

NikkiJ said...

Teri - I think it means University newspaper... right Chris?

Teri said...

"That look..."

We all know what an assumption makes us, right? How can another person, especially a stranger, think they know another's mind?

This reminds me of the comment I've heard Purple Women get about changing their mind later. The nerve!

s said...

If by "look" you mean staring wide-eyed at the baby or child, well then, I do it too...not because I'm feeling any stirrings of my biological crock, but because I'm thinking: Man, that thing is ugly...Why would anyone want one of those...If that baby doesn't shut up in the next five seconds I'm evacuating the area...If I ever acted like that in public, my mom would have slapped me...Why do people think babies are cute and exciting? I'll never understand...

Most of the time it's all I can do to keep my face from blatantly showing distaste. I save the eyerolls and lip curls for when my back is safely turned.

AlphaGirl said...

LOL! I couldn't agree more! When I get "the look" it always stems from the feelings you stated in your post..I'm pretty good about turning my back, but there are times it's pretty hard..sort of
like looking at a car wreck..you're appalled, but at the same time unable to turn away.
(LMAO)