June 28, 2006

When Is a Childfree Woman a Mom?

I’m 44 and childfree, but when I go to the car dealership, I’m a mom. Dropping off my husband’s car for a recall service, a salesman tries to sell me on a new SUV.

"Lot’s of room for mom and kids," he says. "You can seat seven comfortably."

No, thanks.

In the doctor’s office, I’m a mom. I’m asked:

"Who’s your OB/GYN?"

She’s shocked when I tell her I’ve never had one.

In the library, I’m a mom. The librarian says:

"Your daughter can get her own card now."

She’s referring to the kid standing behind me in the line, with an armful of books. The kid disowns me immediately.

In my U.S. immigration interview, I’m a mom. The Homeland Security agent who interviews me looks up from my thick dossier, questioning:

"No children?"

No, I respond. But to no avail. I leave interview with a sheet of paper with with my name and file number on it that says that I have a minor child in Ethiopia.

I’m reassured. If they they can find a child of mine in Ethiopia, maybe they can find Osama too.

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Teri said...

Oh Jeez, all of a sudden I don't feel so safe about the border any more. That is too outrageous not to be a true story.

Wecome back LauraS. Hope you had a great trip and that you didn't disturb to much "you know what" while in Europe. As you can see, the team has been busy while you've been away!

Enjoyed this post. So true. How many times have I been mistaken for a parent? The assumption is always there. When will female identity change?

nomadshan said...

I don't think people realize how much, or how often, they assume things like motherhood. The thing about the minor child in Ethiopia blows my mind.

I enjoy being the person who makes someone realize that there is life outside of motherhood.

LauraS said...

Sadly, the thing about the Ethiopian child is a true story. Obviously it came from someone elses file but now I have to worry about some bureaucrat disallowing my application because I have failed to provide proof of child support.
We thought Fema was an f-up.

Teri said...

NomadShan - You're my new role model.

LauraS - Just a wild guess, but I bet you've never even been to Ethiopia. If you could prove that, it may help with the child-support issue. Unreal.

Robin said...

Now those comments sure say a lot about society don't they?

Boxing Tomboy said...

People have always assumed that I have children at home. One person told me that I had a "mom vibe". Others have told me that I'm built like one, whatever that means. Still trying to figure out where they pick that one up from, other than the fact that I am a woman.

saravanan said...

unfortunately i was not able to spend my weekend due to my company work. so it makes me to get tired so slept for whole day this is worst weekend i have faced