The One Where I Touch You
There's a great three-page article by Jennifer Liss in Bitch magazine (Summer 2006, issue #32) about defending our childfree lifestyle. It's funny and thought-provoking and downright maddening. It makes even me, an I'm-sorry-I-love-you-I-won't-rustle-any-feathers pushover, want to yell about my rights as a woman and protest and burn my bra.
Wait. Not the bra thing. Got a little excited, there - sorry.
A part of the article tells the story of a woman who was trying to simply get her tubes tied and was, instead, faced with doctor after doctor telling her they wouldn't do it, advising her to get mental help, and even telling her, not until "you have had at least one or two children."
Medical doctors were saying this! Makes your head want to explode a little, doesn't it?
I found the mag at Borders, but you can also find them on the web here. I highly suggest you seek it out.
And, because I always care about my readers, I've created a lovely haiku for you guys. Grab your tissues. This one's deep, yo.
Hey, nosey people
You have your own vajayjay
So don't bother mine!
Technorati Tags: Childfree
4 comments:
Well, it took me forever to get what "vajayjay" represents.
Too bad we cannot read any articles on Bitch without a subscription. I do commend them for paying contributors for their articles. That money has to come from somewhere. They also have an online store (not sure I want a Bitch tatoo, even if it is temporary - LOL) and a reasonable amount of advertising. Theirs is a "for profit" venture, unlike ours.
I saw no option to purchase the rights to link to the article, nor a guarantee that I would be allowed to do this if I did subscribe. It appears the magazine is mailed through the post (quite an expense to print on paper and post it). Too bad it's not delivered electronically.
Chase, thanks for sharing it with us anyway. This topic had not been raised here at PW yet, however, it has come up on our local No Kidding (the social club for childfree adults) Yahoo group.
I have heard about and spoken directly to women seeking a permanent fix. Their doctors pass judgement and second guess them when they ask for a procedure that will render them infertile.
Doctors are people too, and may be have a religious or other moral concept that prevents them from being helpful when a woman with her mind made up makes a request like this.
I did speak to one gal here in Canada who shared that getting the procedure was not problem with her particular doctor, and it was quite reasonably priced, but to reverse it would cost triple! That seems fair. I bet there's a few women out there who'd like her number.
I have an IUD, and I know many women who have had a hard time even getting something that's reversible! Luckily, my doctor was awesome about it, but a lot of docs are wary of inserting an IUD in a nulliparous woman (women who have not "proven" their fertility) because of the chance that the patient will blame the doc or the IUD manufacturer for later infertility.
I do *love* Bitch magazine. Used to have a subscription, but I never renewed it. You've got me thinking of checking it out again! :)
I read that article -- I love my subscription to Bitch, honestly.
Another problem with having your tubes tied is that it is not always covered by insurance. But then, under my current (government-issued) insurance, a doctor can choose not to prescribe birth control for an unmarried woman, too.
My insurance covers pre- and post-natal care, Viagra, and infertility treatment, but not consistently cover birth control-- another example of a bias against the choice to be child-free.
Doctors are also sometimes wary of the fact that, should a woman change their mind (and this has happened) and decide later that she does want to conceive, the procedure is very difficult if not impossible to reverse. It is after all meant to be final.
They may also be wary of being sued. People seem to be able to sue for any reason these days. Part of the reason many doctors will err on the side of caution and women who have already had children find it easier to have the procedure done. This of course doesn't help the woman who does not want to have children in the first place.
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